Friday, October 20, 2006

So good--for Sunday Scribblings

I feel good, I knew that I would, now
I feel good, I knew that I would, now
So good. . . .
(James Brown)

Yesterday I tried to refer a challenging patient to a colleague. He told me he is not at a good point in his life and needs to simplify things, hence no new challenges. This is unfortunate for him and my patient as he is a good friend and a good therapist. And no, I am not trying to set the world record for most uses of “good” in one paragraph.
It occurred to me that I am actually in a “good place” in my life currently. What does this mean for me? I think it means a relative sense of contentment, physical and mental health, feeling fulfilled, even happy. I enjoy my work, and what a gift that is. I have financial stability, another gift for which I am most humbly grateful, all my “faculties”, and have nearly enough leisure time. I get to travel occasionally, read good books and watch DVD’s with my kids several evenings a week. This is the first time in my life that I have written regularly which I believe is due to the extra energy I am deriving from all of the above.
Lest I be accused of hubris, being too happy or having a silver spoon in my mouth from birth, I need to tell you why this is worth mentioning in a Blog. It is worth mentioning because it distinctly wasn’t always this way. Happiness is such a gift because there have been years (literally) of my life when I wasn’t happy, had to fight to get out of bed in the morning, and struggled to find the purpose of my existence.
Now at this point I might say something like “and then I found Jesus” or some such. But this has nothing to do with religion and religion is one of those things that I intend to leave out of my Blog. I haven’t committed to telling certain personal things in this Blog so I am going to leave many of the details of my “recovery” out also. Unfortunately, the internet isn’t anonymous enough for me, at least at this time. I may “out” myself more in the future.
Speaking of “out”, one of the books I am currently reading is The Commitment by Dan Savage who is most definitely out. At times, Mr. Savage can be savagely funny (pun intended) and the book is a worthy read both for the laughs and for the social commentary about life, marriage (gay and straight), religious conservatives and family. The following quote caught my eye and pertains to the topic of memoirs (the stuff of my life that will not be put into a blog): “This is a literary genre dominated by people who’ve endured spectacularly abusive childhoods (God help the aspiring memoirist who endured run-of-the-mill abuse as a child), mind- and soul-deadening oppression in Iran, and rock climbers forced to cut off their own arms.” My secrets may be my own but by Mr. Savage’s definition, my hypothetical memoir wouldn’t make the best-seller list.


Chelle Y. said...

Okay, now I have that song in my head! Thank. You. Very. Much! :)

Good job on this.

twilightspider said...

Good for you for being in a good place. Whatever you've overcome to get here, be proud of yourself and own that good feeling - it's often the struggle to get somewhere that makes us appreciate the destination that much more.