Sunday, October 22, 2006

Playing Pharmacist 2

I'm not a regular reader, but I've observed that the Onion, a spoof newspaper, does psychiatry quite well. Take the issue of 1-7 June, 2006. One headline reads, Columbia House Launches Subscription Meds Program. I quote from the article here: "Qualified seniors may choose either 12 generic drugs for one cent, or five brand-name medications for 49 cents each, plus shipping and handling. Members are then obligated to buy five more brand-name medications over two years at their regular price, ranging from $12.99 to $549.99." Later they quote a satisfied customer: "Their 'recommended' list said that if I liked Pfizer, I'd absolutely love GlaxoSmithKline--and they were right." Incidentally Pfizer and Glaxo both make antidepressants.
The implications of a subscription drug program are too mind-boggling to go into here. I guess I'll have to order my Viagra from an internet spammer instead. But how to choose from the thousands of offers I get daily. (And I don't even have a peenis, spelling lifted from today's latest spam).
A second article in the same Onion issue takes a more psychodynamic bent: "It's like, 'Hey, ever heard of a little thing called 'resolving issues through unconscious acting-out of a maladaptive fantasy-life manifesting itself through inappropriately weak personal boundaries'?' Hello?" Print this up in a psychoanalytic journal and it would almost sound erudite. So next time I need to throw some good psychobabble into a therapy session I know where to turn.
Night, night (past my bedtime).

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